心靈瑜珈親子教室_孩子唔等得_Bhakti Yoga Parent Child Teaching Lab_My Child Cannot Wait
Ida Poon You Tube親子教學_A Parent Child Teaching Lesson of Ida Poon in You Tube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-Gha-o3LI0
你好，我是親子關係治療師潘姑娘，今日與大家分享為什麼孩子唔等得。你會見到嬰孩一肚餓或尿片濕了，便會立即喊; 當嬰孩再長大一點，他們會叫食、叫玩，會要到商場扭計買玩具…這樣我們便始提及孩子的自我控制能力，又或是在心理學上，我們所指的延遲滿足。在1960年代，美國史丹福大學心理學家Walter Mischel進行了一個棉花糖實驗，實驗人員請來了32個約3歲幾至5歲幾的孩子，將他們安置於一間房間內，之後告訴孩子每人都可以得到1粒棉花糖，但是如果他可以等到15分鐘後才吃，他便可以再額外得到1粒棉花糖。結果顯示有些孩子立即吃了棉花糖，亦有些孩子用手遮住眼睛、玩弄自己的衣服、大聲唱歌…努力讓自己熬過15分鐘而最後可多得1粒棉花糖。
往後進行了追蹤研究，發現那些延遲吃棉花糖的孩子，他們的美國高考成績非常卓越; 大腦成像檢查亦發現他們的大腦前額葉相對更為發達和活躍，而這個區域正是控制人最高級的思考活動。因此結論是孩子如果能夠擁有延遲滿足的能力，他們達到成功的機會非常高。延遲滿足的能力是指推遲滿足的時間，讓孩子控制衝動，克服誘惑，學習忍耐，學習等待，是情緒智商的重要範疇，是最終引向達成目標或成功的能力。重點如下:
- 對一出生的嬰孩，需要給予及時的滿足，以便他們發展被愛、被關顧、信任和安全感
- 美國心理學家Claire Kopp認為兒童早期身心發展變化是自控能力發展的基礎，延遲滿足要根據孩子的發展水平，最早可從1歲左右才開始
- 延遲滿足並不是隨便取消滿足，而是推遲滿足的時間，家長需守約，讓孩子學會守約及守規則，願意等待
- 家長可考慮與孩子一起去制定必要的規則，讓孩子可以達到約束性的順從而非情境性的順從，因為約束性順從才是一種主動的順從行為，最終才能發展為良好的自控力
- 協助孩子轉移注意力，來控制誘惑
- 最重要的是家長本身亦可以等得，能夠控制慾望及衝動，這樣孩子便會透過家長的身教，逐步學習忍耐，加上持久的努力，最終達到目標、得到自己想要的東西、步向成功。孩子等得，聯絡親子關係治療師潘姑娘2527 4000 / 9303 1671，快樂親子由你創，歡迎瀏覽 親子輔導/Parent-Child Counseling http://www.bhaktiyogahk.com/parent-child/
服務:
1. 親子互動遊戲輔導 – 2至7歲的子女
2. 遊戲輔導 – 7歲以上的子女
3. 主題課程: 情緒智商/專注力訓練/理財智商/社交技巧/性教育/領袖訓練…2.5歲以上的子女
4. 兒童智力及心理評估，如智力評估、教育學習評估、讀寫障礙評估…2.5歲以上的子女
5. 親子瑜珈 – 3歲以上的子女
心靈瑜珈輔導及培訓中心有限公司
香港灣仔軒尼詩道243號詩禮大廈3樓B室
灣仔地鐵站A2出口, 向銅鑼灣方向行5分鐘
電話：2527 4000 / 9303 1671
電郵：byctc.hk@gmail.com
網址: http://www.bhaktiyogahk.com/parent-child/
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Hi, I am a Parent Child Relationship Therapist, Ida. Today I will share with you the topic of why our child cannot wait. The baby will immediately shout when he or she is hungry or diaper wet. When they grow up, they will ask for food, to play…and demand to buy toys… when go to the shopping mail, hence it makes the parents getting headache. It starts the topic of the child’s self-control ability or delayed gratification in psychology perspective. In the 1960s, Walter Mischel, a psychologist at Stanford University in the United States, experimented with a cotton candy experiment with 32 children aged between 3.5 and 5.5 years old, placed them in a room. They were being told that everyone can get a cotton candy, but if he or she can wait 15 minutes, he or she will get an additional cotton candy. The result showed that some children immediately eat the cotton candy, but some children covering their eyes with their hands, playing with their clothes, singing loudly … trying to get distracted during this 15 minute and finally he or she got extra 1 cotton candy.
A longitudinal study has been conducted and found that those children who delayed eating a cotton candy could get excellent results in American College examination. And their brain imaging examination has also been discovered that their brain frontal lobes are relatively more developed and active, and this area is to control advanced thinking activities. The conclusion is that if the child can have delayed gratification ability, they might have a very high chance to attain success. Delayed gratification ability is to delay the gratification time, let the children to control impulse, to overcome temptation, to learn patience, to learn waiting. It is one of important categories of emotional intelligence and is the ultimate goal to achieve goals and success. Some important points are demonstrated as follows:
- The baby needs to be given immediate satisfaction, so that they can feel of being loved, being cared and develop a sense of trust and security
- The American psychologist, Claire Kopp indicated that the early development of children’s physical and mental development is the basis of the children self-control development. According to the development level of the child, delayed gratification ability can be trained earliest around 1 year old.
- Delayed gratification is not equal to cancel the gratification and it means to delay gratification time. So parents need to keep promises and follow rules. Hence it makes their children learning to follow rules and willing to tolerate and wait
- Parents may consider setting necessary rules with the children together in order to let them achieving binding obedience rather than contextual obedience since the former is an active obedience and eventually turn the children to develop good self-control ability
- Help children to divert attention in order to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward.
- The most important thing is that the parents themselves can also wait, can control their desires and impulses in front of their children, so that the child can follow parents’ performance to learn patience, together with their trial efforts, ultimately they can achieve goals, get what they want and attain success. Children can wait. Create your Happy Parent Child Relationship! Welcome to our website 親子輔導/Parent-Child Counseling http://www.bhaktiyogahk.com/parent-child/
Services:
1. Parent Child Interactive Play Counseling – Child 2 to 7 years old
2. Play Counseling – Child over 7 years old
3. Theme Courses: Emotional Intelligence / Attentive Training / Money Intelligence / Social Skills / Sex Education / Leadership Training..Child over 2.5 years old
4. Children Psychological Assessment e.g IQ tests, Educational Evaluation, Dyslexia Assessment…child over 2.5 years old
5. Parent Child Yoga – child over 3 years old
Bhakti Yoga Counseling and Training Centre Limited
Rm B, 3/F, Sze Lai Bldg, 243 Hennessy Rd, Wan Chai, HK.
MTR Wan Chai Station, Exit A2, walk to Causeway Bay direction around 5 minutes
Tel: 25274000 / 9303 1671
Email: byctc.hk@gmail.com
Website: http://www.bhaktiyogahk.com/parent-child/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BhaktiYogaHK